What a night.

Saturday, January 26, 2008


What a night.
Current mood: pissed off

Sometimes, I hate my dog.
I feel bad admitting it, but my dog has taught me that I am just not a dog person. She is just as sweet as can be, she's a wonderful buddy to Billy's dog and she is endlessly patient with the kiddos. But she is dumber than a brick, she digs up the back yard to an astonishing degree (creating muddy areas that cake their doggy feet), she sheds and sheds and sheds and sheds, and she doesn't listen well. Sometimes, she simply will not come in when you call.

Right now it is 11:30 pm, I want to go to bed, and she is outside in near-freezing temperatures barking her fool head off. I cannot in good conscience leave her out there, both because it is too cold and because she would bark too much. You cannot catch that dog if she does not want to be caught. She looks a bit like a border collie (sort of), but there's nothing else about her that would point to Border Collie genes. Until you try to catch her. Then all of a sudden, this couch potato dog becomes agility champion with cunning and speed on her side. She sure does love a good chase, if it makes her pursuer look like a fool. Besides, I don't want to get dressed to go out and drag her sorry ass back inside.

11:41. Still barking.

I'm glad (for her sake) we rescued her from the pound. I'm glad she's a good friend for our other dog. I'm glad she's around for the boys, so they learn about dogs. And it's reassuring to have a dog in the house (even a dumb one) when I am here alone with the kiddos. But if someone we knew wanted to give her a loving home, I'd definitely let her go. I'm just not appreciative of the finer points of dog ownership. The poor girl is really just a pain in the neck for me. (Shh, don't tell her! She already gets depressed because I can't give her the attention she used to get). Whenever she goes on to the great doggy beyond (hopefully after a long happy life) I will not be getting another dog. I'll stick with cats, thank you very much.

11:50. Quiet outside, finally. I'll go check to see if she's waiting to come in.

Nope. I called her again, but she is ignoring me. This is just a delightful way to top off a delightful evening, let me tell you.

This morning was fun- we had to hurry, but we made it on time to a birthday party for a friend of the boys'. They all had a blast, and I enjoyed meeting the other parents. It was really nice. Leaving was an ordeal- the boys were screaming and resisting with every tactic they could think of- but I managed. They conked out in the car, but Babyman screamed until I finally got on the highway- I swear I hit every single red light along the way. Tension mounting. He woke up when we got home, but the other two slept on so it wasn't too hectic getting everyone's needs taken care of. It was non-stop activity for me for an couple hours, but it wasn't hectic. Things even remained relatively calm through the afternoon and early evening.

But tonight, I was wound tighter, and tighter. . . the boys were sniping as usual, but twice Littleman got in trouble for actually hitting Sweetcheeks. ("But I didn't want him to do ___, and he did it anyway, so I hit him"). Sweetcheeks also fell off the back of the couch at one point. Babyman was fussy and refused to let me put him down at all. Even asleep, the moment he touched the bed (or anywhere else except for my arms) he instantly awoke crying. Littleman argued with absolutely EVERYTHING I said to him. Everything, even stupid stuff. Facts, opinions, directions, didn't matter- he argued. Sweetcheeks took a dump on the stairs. Ooooooh, it can be hard not to blow up over that. He did put his final little turdlet into the potty, so perhaps I should look on the bright side there. Right? Both boys refused to eat their dinner. I suppose they must be hungry, but I wasn't about to make them something else. They helped choose what to eat in the first place! And now, they are all finally asleep and my stupid, idiot dog won't come inside.

And I'm so tired I keep zoning out at the keyboard. I just realized that my finger had come to rest on the "return" key, and I was lengthening this post significantly with empty spaces. Oops.

Still, here is tonight's thumbs up: Bach's Rescue Remedy. This is how I survived the evening. That, a lot of deep breaths and a little chocolate. All wonderful stuff. I love Rescue Remedy.

12:20 am. Dog is barking again. Right about now, I'd happily wring her neck. OK not really, but I am having some serious thoughts that would bring PETA down on my head if I carried them out. Stupid, %@!&**! dog.

OK, it's been an hour since I started this- probably and hour and a half that she's been out there. Screw her. I'll try one last time, and then I'm going to bed. Billy can let her in when he gets home, whenever that will be.

We'll see if I have the balls to actually do that.
Stupid dog.