Friday, May 26, 2006

Just checking in

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Just checking in
Current mood: busy

So I've been slacking off on the blog a little bit- sorry! We've been super busy, plus I was hit with some nasty 24-hr bug that took me a couple days to recover from. No fun. The good news is it's over, and now we are looking forward to a brief but hopefully fun trip to Charleston. About time! :) I have some special plans for a letterbox I'd like to plant down there, but have not managed to find time to carve the stamp etc. I hope I get it done!

Went to the Fair Tax rally on Wednesday, but was too late to get in. They had to close the doors over an hour before they were due to start, because the building was packed to capacity. Awesome! We hung out with a friend in the parking lot, and Littleman had a blast with Daddy. I was bummed we didn't get to get in, but very very glad it was such a phenomenal turnout. Have you contacted your representative yet? Tell them you support the Fair Tax! If you don't know what I am talking about, go to and check it out. Or look for The Fair Tax Book by Boortz and Linder- it's out in paperback now, so it's cheap. Read it!

I was thinking today about my time, and where it all goes. It's a cliche that kids take a lot of time, but honestly until I actually had kids I had NO idea how much time and effort they really take. HOW do people find time to clean house? Not to mention cook meals, do the shopping and errands, keep the house and yard looking decent, keep up with friends and family and have a hobby or two. Seriously, I can't figure it out. Perhaps it's a matter of priorities- I do think I spend more hands-on, focused time with my boys than many parents get to spend with their children. And I have really been making an effort to keep up with some friends and family, at least. But my house is in a constant state of complete disarray, and I feel lucky if I keep the laundry and dishes under control. Sigh. I guess part of the problem stems from the fact that I have to make time to work a job at home, as well as do all the work of home- and I am doing that without a babysitter or daycare. It makes for some pretty inefficient time management, but at least the boys are getting a pretty sweet deal. And I may as well get used to it, for I will only be spending more time focused on them, as homeschooling continues to grow around here. I'm looking forward to those opportunities- hopefully I won't be buried in the process! ;)

Well, nothing much really for this blog- I am beat, and want to go to bed- I have to get up early to make a covered dish for the international potluck at Littleman's Montessori Field Day tomorrow. Ah, suburban housewife obligations! ;) But I am looking forward to seeing a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds do sack races and tug of war!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

a little mental chewing gum for you

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

a little mental chewing gum for you
Current mood: sleepy

A quote for you today:

". . . Meher Baba, Guru Majaj Ji, Jesus Christ and all the other holy men who amassed followers in recent times have had one gimmick in common. Each of them demanded unquestioning devotion. 'Love me with all your heart and soul and strength and do my bidding without fail.' That has been the common requirement. Well, great. If you can love someone with that completeness and that purity, if you can devote yourself totally and unselfishly to someone - and that someone is a benevolent someone - then your life cannot help being the better for it. Your very existence can be transformed by the power of it, and the peace of mind it engenders will persist as long as you persist.

But it's therapy. Marvelous therapy, wonderful therapy, ingenious therapy, but only
therapy. It relieves symptoms, ignores disease. It doesn't answer a single universal question or put a person one step closer to ultimate truth. Sure, it feels good and I'm for anything that feels good. I won't knock it. But let nobody kid himself: spiritual devotion to a popular teacher with an ambiguous dogma is merely a method of making experience more tolerable, not a method of understanding experience or even of accurately describing it. . ."

- Tom Robbins, in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Our awesome motorcycle pics

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Our awesome motorcycle pics (updated)
Current mood: impressed

So, if you want to see the badass pictures of Billy and I on the motorcycle last Thursday, they are available online. There are a few companies that hang out on the Dragon's Tail and shoot pics of everyone driving by. They put the pics online, and you can go see if they have any shots of you. Two companies got pics of our run that day- here's how to see them:
- click on the purple dragon in the middle of the page, toward the top. (The link says, Click here for photo page!Deal's Gap, "The Dragon", Hwy 129)
- Under Thursday May 4, 2006 (on the left hand side) click on the link "Also, Sport bikes, Cruisers, Motards, etc"
- click on "Cruisers, trikes etc"
- navigate to page 15
- We are the 4th - the 11th pictures on this page. Blue and white BMW K1200RS.

The other pics will be available soon- they were up, but he is having technical difficulties. In the meantime, you could check out his front page- cool shots every week! UPDATE: The new pics are available! Go to: (THE site for pics on the Dragon's Tail)
- under "Our Store" (right hand side, under the header) click on " --> Your Photos are Here!"
- click on "Deals Gap - May 1-6, 2006"
- click on "4th - Thursday / Touring Bikes"
- We are the last 2 shots on page 7, the first on page 8 and on page 11 we are the 2nd - 5th.

We will probably buy some pictures from them, so eventually I should be able to post a couple on myspace.

Twenty Minutes

Twenty Minutes

Current mood: aggravated

Dogs on the deck. Baby happy in the playpen, Littleman wants to "watch"- he settles on the couch. Clear a space, lay out my mat. Breathe deep. Perfect time. Smoothly, I follow the prompts and focus on gently relaxing my muscles. "Elongate the spine. Exhale to center. Inhale, arms up. . ." Littleman slid off the couch about 2 minutes in, now he's sort of doing yoga too. I encourage him- I'd love to have him practice with me. ". . . to downward-facing dog pose. . ." I breathe, I stretch my spine, I press my toes into the mat. Feels good. Littleman has completely lost interest- he is running circles around me, screaming with glee. Sweetcheeks in the playpen is getting restless, too. Blocking it out, I relax into Child's pose (Alas, it does not in any way resemble my children at this moment!). Littleman trys to climb on my back. Sweetcheeks begins fussing in earnest. ". . .Inhale, arch your back. . ." Littleman crawls under my belly. Sweetcheeks is crying. ". . .Exhale. . ." Littleman literally shoves a toy in my face, loudly telling me something about it. His body blocks the TV. The dogs outside go ballistic over a jogger on the street. Sweetcheeks is insistent, though I try talking gently to him and telling Simon to move out of the way. On my back now, a jumping Littleman accidentally steps on my fingers. It hurts. Sweetcheeks is starting to get frantic. A last ditch attempt to relax, and I'm nailed in the face with a ball.

Sigh. I gave up.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

Happy Anniversary

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Happy Anniversary
Current mood: loved

Six years ago today, Billy and I stood on a dock over a lake, hands fast, and publicly proclaimed our lifelong commitment. We sealed the deal with a leap over the broomstick. That day was a blast- so many great friends and family, a comfortable laid-back outdoors gathering and the indescribable joy between Billy and me. What an appropriate beginning.

Sometimes these days it can be easy to forget how wonderful our match is, how appropriate, comfortable, fulfilling and fun. Thank God for the little reminders that keep us going day to day, and I am especially grateful for the occasional true return- when something shifts slightly and we can see what's really there, under all the bustle of daily concerns. Like when you are staring at one of those hidden 3-D images that were so popular a few years ago- the ones that look like visual static until your focus shifts just right and then, OH!- there's a whole landscape in there, jumping out at you in wonderful detail. In the same way, sometimes something said, some touch, some treasured keepsake or silly tradition pops up and brings with it whole ladscapes of our relationship that, despite disuse, are as sunny and brilliant as the day we discovered them together.

These moments are usually fleeting, but so rich in flavor that they can keep us alive for quite a stretch. But oh, what a blessing a true vacation can be! When things are just right and we can relax and slip into those rhythms together again. When we can laugh with each other as we used to, talk uninterrupted and actually focus on each other, rather than on all the millions of important things (and those two all-important, wonderful beings) that usually absorb our attention! What rejuvenation. And really, what a relief that it's still there, still accessible to the extent that it is. Almost a surprise (almost). 12 years together, now? And more to come. Makes me smile. :) I'm so glad we were able to enjoy this little reminder of why.

Saturday, May 6, 2006

Is it still a train of thought if it's on a motorcycle?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Is it still a train of thought if it's on a motorcycle?
Current mood: happy

The far side of the lake flickers on and off like an old film, disappearing and reappearing rapidly as trees whip past my vision. Warm, heavy air captures scent and holds it, intensifying the honeysuckle and fresh-mown hay until it feels as though we are swimming in summertime. I anticipate the turns, our bodies synchronized and balanced, dancing with the living asphalt. The speed is exhilarating, but it is this measured, magic balance that defines our best rides. (It's rather like meditation, really- I'm having difficulty describing it- it is learned and practiced, but feels utterly instinctual. It requires a certain hyper-awareness of the here and now. It's a matter of rhythm, of relaxation and of skill. Such rides definitely tap into an energy and a power that is beyond the everyday). Passing through forest, the air is thick with the scent of hot, baking pine straw- sweet and toasty, it perfumes the air as surely as fresh spice cake on a crisp winter evening. I see the butterfly in a split instant, and abruptly it whips along my wake and off somewhere behind me. Does it wonder what in the hell that was all about? (I'm glad I didn't splat it). Slower, easier here, I stretch warmed muscles and tip my helmet toward the sky. We've been lucky today, skirting pewter-black billows and staying dry. Now I see a smooth expanse of perfect turquoise, strewn with endless marches of roiling brilliant white cumulus. The sun is getting lower and it is sparkling with improbable incandescence off the stream winding through the fields. Brief flashes of life whiz by, little glimpses into other universes populated with joys and sorrows, wisdom and folly, peace and stresses that I shall never know anything about. Flash, flicker, flying by and they are gone, just as quickly as they arrived. I'm overwhelmed, happily trying to take it all in, sucking in life and love and exhilaration until I feel as though my heart would burst. How much life can one being hold? I see the passing place coming and adjust my position, and then we fly away to new horizons.

Monday, May 1, 2006

My war wounds and honors

Sunday, April 30, 2006

My war wounds and honors
Current mood: curious

You know, I have to say I've been a little surprised at myself when it comes to body image these days. I have never in my life been terribly concerned with how I look, and though I try to eat well and keep active, my interest in being young and fit is pretty limited. I would certainly have never expected to waste much thought on the unfortunate physical side-effects of childbearing. Oddly enough however, I have found myself mourning a little over the fact that my body is completely different now than it was pre-children, and there are some aspects of that youthful figure which I can never regain. Not to get into nitty-gritty details, but for those of you in blissful ignorance, some forever-altered areas include hips (completely different shape), joints (noticeably more stiff), tummy (no amount of exercise will ever make that poor stretched skin flat and firm again), back (ow) and breasts (I'd rather not talk about it). There's oh so much more, but you get the idea.

Now, don't get me wrong- I am not worried about where my body is at now, and in general I actually feel pretty comfortable with it. (When I bother to think about it at all!) I consider myself lucky that one positive side-effect of all the breastfeeding is that I have shed pregnancy pounds pretty steadily, and I do a pretty good job (most of the time) at eating well and keeping active (how could I NOT keep active? LOL). I feel pretty good, when I've slept and managed to shower. But it almost puzzles me that I mourn my youthful body at all- why, all of a sudden, do I care??

I guess perhaps I was more vain about some of these things than I realized- or perhaps, it's really something entirely different that I miss, and the body simply acts as a concrete representation of that part of my life. It could be that freedom of life before children, or the excitement and discovery of myself during those years. Or perhaps it is the recognition that I too, will look like my mother. (LOL! Not that that's so bad- she's doing alright for sure). I dunno- and it all comes back to the simple, "Oh Well!" I remind myself that it's a badge of honor, and it's a small price to pay for the experiences, joys and wisdom gained. Definitely good enough for me. :)