 | lessons in recentering
Current mood:  thoughtful Thinking about yoga in my last blog got me thinking about how in some ways, I have lost myself within my parenting role. It's a very easy mistake to make, and one I need to work on correcting. If I allow my individual self to be lost within the greater context of my family, then I will lose the very foundation I need in order to support my loved ones. It's extremely important to recenter occasionally, and recognize that I am an individual with my own interests and needs.
This probably sounds obvious and simple to achieve, but really it can be quite difficult. A young child (especially an infant) is an extension of the parent (especially the mom) in so many ways- I realized with a bit of a shock one day that I am simply no longer one person. I cannot do things I might otherwise do, because I have this little being who is so dependant on my presence. The effects range from the very simple (like not being able to take a shower) to the obvious (I cannot drop everything and leave for a big trip, and I cannot go motorcycle riding all day) to the profound (even though the dependence will lessen and I will resume many things, I will NEVER truly be just one individual person ever again). Because this is true, finding ways to reconnect with the individual me is a challenge.
I imagine other people experience this sort of thing in different ways, as well. Many people lose themselves to their work, for instance. Which makes me wonder how much of the dependence is illusory, and how much truly necessary. Often when people are so caught up in work that they lose themselves to it, the gaps they are trying to fill are not as important as they seem. A balance is crucial to a fulfilling life, and sometimes you have to shift or jettison a few things to make everything work in harmony. The trick is figuring out what can go, what must stay, and what can be moved. Is this or that as important as it seems, or is it really sleight of hand? Keeping a sense of perspective and being objective will help make the balancing act as effortless as possible.
In my case, it will be mostly about time, habit and help. Finding the balance will free up the time I need for recentering- for yoga for instance, or meditation or painting or hiking- because I'll know what to shift and how. Habit is an important one, and a big hurdle for me. I can have all the great intentions in the world, and even get started in the right direction, but if I do not make it habit I will not stick with it. I have to make yoga a standard part of my routine if I want to keep it in my life. And finally I will probably need help- which is another stumbling block in my case. I am a self sufficient sort of person, and asking for help does not come naturally to me- it feels foreign. I have to make it a habit too, before I can make use of the skill to help me form other positive habits in my life!
Ah well, baby steps will get me there. At least I am workking towards my goal right now- simply by keeping up with a blog, I am allowing myself time to relax and think my own thoughts for awhile. It's a step in the right direction- and hopefully, it's habit-forming! :) |
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