September 27, 2007 - Thursday
crime and punishment
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with me being pregnant- it might, since pregnancy can make one more emotional, more tired and less rational- but I am losing it more and more often with Littleman. I have yelled at him more times than I care to contemplate. Even if it is me however, that's not the only cause. Littleman seems to think it's such a wonderful game to push my buttons and tempt fate over and over and over and OVER again. The biggie for me is being ignored- he just loves to continue doing things that I have JUST told him not to do. Or to take one million years to complete a task that I have asked of him- whether that be picking up the books in his room or simply climbing into his carseat. Now I am a very patient person- or rather, I used to be- but we are talking a CONSTANT barrage of gleeful defiance. I begin to lose my cool, and thus lose my ability to react appropriately without allowing the situation to escalate. It's hard to think of appropriate, effective "punishments" (whatever form they may take) when the straws begin to break the camel's back. Far too often I find myself bellowing in anger and frustration, (precisely the sort of behavior that I am discouraging in Littleman), and using spankings as my retaliation. I am not in control here.