Enlightenment

Throbbing, pounding din of pain, ache so intense it seems to radiate from my head in an unholy halo of suffering. It started innocently enough, just an annoyance of a headache, nothing more- until the depth and intensity built upon itself the edifice of affliction known to me as "migraine". A true, full-blown migraine headache is a trippy experience (not that I'd be able to compare, of course) in pain, a place where loud noises explode before my eyes in visual fireworks, my stomach churns with nausea and any sudden movement I make can just about do me in entirely. Movement leaves me reeling. Normal headache medications are barely effective, if at all- today I never noticed the least difference after taking some. It was homeopathic silicea, and lying still in a warm bed with a cold washcloth over my eyes, that finally tamed the beast. (Plus some candied ginger for the nausea.) It took a couple hours of being very still (thank goodness for Babyman's nap time), but by dinnertime I was up and functional once again.

The night is only sweeter now for all the torment of the afternoon. After the pain, I am so grateful for the peace of this evening. My quiet music mingles with the chirrup and peep of the frogs and night insects, cool air drifts through my kitchen window, little else but the clack of my keyboard meets my ears. The boys sleep deeply, sprawled in little boy abandon across the rumpled covers of my bed. I am not bothered by what mess I see around me- I will tidy some of it, and the rest will patiently wait for tomorrow. Now is taken, now is full, now is a rich study in senses, a meditation, a time for awareness and wonder and gratitude.

Why do we need contrast to bring out the highlights? What is it about our human awareness that so consistently forgets our blessings, until suffering carves our experience into high relief? Is this then the goal of an enlightened existence: to live in a place of meditative, golden appreciation, to be able to bask in the glow of beauty and gratitude without needing darkness to make them apparent? Or does that smack of hubris, to imagine such a thing could be possible? For without dark, there is no light. They are so intertwined, so interdependent, that one shall never exist without the other. The trick then, is to find the beauty in both. We do not find enlightenment through seeking light. It is beauty we must see. Pause now, quiet your mind for just a moment, and find beauty. It is there. Relish it. Appreciate it. Be grateful for it. It is a blessing. Practice this often. You needn't journey for enlightenment. It is all around you.

There is no "seek". Only "see".

hide and seek, and other sundries

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

hide and seek, and other sundries
Current mood: tired

Billy came home early tonight, and was upstairs playing hide-and-seek with the boys. This involves one person hiding in another room while the other two wait, and then the hider yells "OK!" when he's ready to be found. Well, Sweetcheeks decided to be the hider. I hear Billy saying, "No, wait! Wait- wait until we're not looking, THEN you hide." There's a pause, and then I hear Sweetcheeks: "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" Billy chuckles. "Are you ready?" "OK!" yells Sweetcheeks. I hear Billy and Littleman head for the room where Sweetcheeks is presumably hiding. Billy adds as they enter the room, "And be really quiet so we don't hear where you are."
"OK!" comes the loud reply.
Oh, well.

* * *

This living room floor was clean 3 hours ago. Sigh.

* * *

To update on the Sweetcheeks potty saga, he is doing really, really well with peeing in the potty. Usually, if I forget to make him go, it will be fine- he will take himself to the potty and go when he needs too, without wetting his pants. (Exceptions are usually if we are out and about, and I forget to take him. Then, he's more likely to have an accident. So I still try to be diligent then). He's also been waking dry after a nap or even all night! He still has issues with pooping in the potty, though. I don't know why, but he apparently REALLY doesn't want to poop in the potty. He poops in his underwear every time. It's a real pain. I'm not sure how to solve that aspect, but we are not returning to diapers. So, I guess we'll see.

* * *

Earlier, I was looking forward to getting the kids in bed, and then sipping some wine (I almost spelled that "whine", LOL- I get a lot more of that, let me tell you!) while sitting on the couch and watching my new Harry Potter DVD with Billy. But now I am just too damn tired. Oh, well. I'll watch it at some point. At least we saw it in the theater!

* * *

We are all sick. It's been a head-crud kind of a cold. I thought Sweetcheeks was better, but yesterday he suddenly developed an earache. By evening it was severe. WHY do these things ALWAYS happen when the pediatrician is closed? But I had some natural remedies on hand from our last episode with an ear infection (they're infrequent around here, thank goodness. . . knock on wood. . .) and I started right in with a homeopathic blend and some herbal ear drops. (Plus some tylenol to stop the pain and hence, the screaming. Poor kiddo). Once the tylenol kicked in he felt better. I continued the remedies, and this morning he woke up fine. Hmm. This stuff is great, but THAT great? Maybe it wasn't an ear infection. He wasn't running a fever. In any case, I am very, very glad he is feeling better. I can focus my worry on Babyman, who now has a cough. It's not bad yet (still just in his head), and hopefully won't get any worse. But hearing that cough come from that baby body just curls my toes. I cringe just thinking about it. He's not running a fever, is sleeping and nursing well and seems like his normal self. So for right now, I'm in wait-and-see mode. Hopefully he will improve soon.

* * *

Today's thumbs-up is for my In-laws, who came today to play with the kids and help out a little so I could get a few things done. Yay, Grandma and Grandpa! I am blessed with great in-laws. But since that doesn't really seem to fit in with my usual thumbs-up format, I'll do another- it's a little random, but still great: a website to teach you how to tie knots. Each knot is pictured, the steps are described, and best of all each step is illustrated by video. It's really one of the best knot-tying tutorials I've seen. So, go learn a new skill today!

infrastructure, and homeopathy

Saturday, July 28, 2007

infrastructure, and homeopathy Current mood: sleepy Today, we're in traffic, passing some construction as we drive on the highway. L- "Look at that, Mommy!" me- "Yes, the construction machines are getting everything ready to build more road." L- "Why?" me- "Because then this road will have more room on it for all of these cars, and it won't be so crowded. The road will be wider." L- "Why?" me- "Because a lot of people drive this way every day, and sometimes the traffic gets bad. They need more room on the road for all the cars." ~he thinks~ L- "But then everybody just buys more cars and there are more and more and more and the road fills up again." me- "Wow. Well, you're absolutely right, dear. Ultimately bigger roads are not the solution we need." Hmm. Out of the mouths of babes. . . * * * I am still sick, but am feeling WAAY better. Based on our symptoms, I selected homeopathic phosphorus to treat Sweetcheeks and myself. On day two of treatment, we've both shown marked improvement. My throat is no longer sore at all, and I have regained some energy. Basically at this point, all that remains for me is congestion. (a lot of it) Mr. Cheeks is still coughing, but it is now a productive cough that means he is on the mend. He certainly seems to feel a lot better, and he no longer needs a cough suppressant at night to be able to sleep comfortably. I continue to be very impressed with homeopathic remedies.

a few (really) random thoughts

Thursday, March 09, 2006

a few (really) random thoughts Current mood: silly I was thinking yesterday about the difference between knowledge and ideas. Each needs the other to come to fruition. You may be very knowledgeable, but without good ideas you can't use that knowledge to move ahead. You might have fantastic ideas, but without the knowledge you need to make use of them, they cannot begin to bloom. So if you have one, pursue the other! I've also been thinking about homeopathic medicine. I want to learn more about it. When you hit on the right remedy, it can be amazingly effective. It works on the principle of "like treats like"- so, to treat a cold that has a symptom of burning, watery eyes you might use a homeopathic dilution of red onion. Red onions cause burning, watery eyes- but as a homeopathic remedy, they make your eyes feel better. I don't really understand it. I have a wonderful book called "Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child" which describes many common childhood ailments, and then lists several treatments: conventional (like what your pediatrician might recommend), herbal, homepathic, acupressure, dietary. . . and finishes up with general recommendations that combine the best of all approaches. I have made use of some of the homeopathic recommendations, with some success. It is a difficult practice to learn, because it is extremely individual- the right remedy for one person might not work for someone else, even if she has the exact same virus (for instance). It all depends on the individual's symptoms and temperament. It can take a bit of trial and error. Maybe I can take a course in it someday. I like listening to rain. I don't particularly like having to walk the dog in it. :P I wonder how Ms Rowling is doing on the final Harry Potter book? I'm dying to read it, though at the same time it will be sad to be done. I guess there's always the movies. Hmm, I wonder how they are coming along? And I wonder what prompted this chain of thought?? I noticed today that my blog now has 200 views. Hey, I guess someone out there (besides G of course! :) ) is actually reading this! Too bad I don't have anything great to say tonight. I'm pretty beat. Littleman has been bringing home every damn bug that comes down the pike, and my immune system is in overdrive I think. Plus I am relatively sleepless, of course, since Griff has been eating like a horse round the clock. Eew, too many bland cliches in there. To make a long story short (ha, another one!) I am a little loopy. Hi ho, hi ho, on that note I'll sign off for the evening. Maybe after I pay a few bills I can go to sleep!